Monday, December 27, 2010
Holidays are all about undoing all the dieting and excercise you do leading up to them.
Oliver walked for the first time last night. We were visiting Andy, who'd just slipped on ice as he ran to get the present he'd gotten for Oliver, smashing his skull into the side of his house, when Oliver stood up. I moved a away from him and held out my hands. He took three steps, me pulling my hands away with each to keep encouraging him, before he fell. He took two more shortly after, but three remains his current high.
Friday, March 12, 2010
My Professor hates my title.
In no way do I mean to offend anyone who smokes, but I have always hated the smell of cigarettes. To me, smoking is a habit I've never understood. It offers no actual benefits (people claim it gives you a buzz at first, but only a minimal one), instead offering only destruction to senses, appearance, and health. Smoking cigarettes turns fingernails and teeth yellow, deadens the senses of smell and taste, destroys the lungs and throat, and makes the smoker smell terrible.
That having been said, there are certain movies/actors that make smoking look like the coolest freaking thing to ever have been done by humans. Good Night, and Good Luck is the perfect example. Or Rebel Without a Cause, Fight Club, Stay, Rushmore (or any other Wes Anderson Movie)... I think you get the idea. Anyway, just sayin'. Not that I'm going to take it up, but I would be closer to looking cool if I did, right?
That having been said, there are certain movies/actors that make smoking look like the coolest freaking thing to ever have been done by humans. Good Night, and Good Luck is the perfect example. Or Rebel Without a Cause, Fight Club, Stay, Rushmore (or any other Wes Anderson Movie)... I think you get the idea. Anyway, just sayin'. Not that I'm going to take it up, but I would be closer to looking cool if I did, right?
Friday, February 26, 2010
Happiness.
There were lyrics running through his head as he walked out of the school and into the bright, sunny spring afternoon. "The sugary smell of springtime," he thought; it seemed so fitting. Thanks, Ben, he thought, walking slowly and calmly down the front steps and onto the sidewalk. It's lyrics like yours that create the soundtrack to life's experiences. The cars in front of the school were parked in a semicircle, creating a sort of blockade between him and the parking lot. The sounds of life had faded and left only the chirping of a couple of robins and, what to anyone else would seem an uncomfortable silence. The lawnmower that had been running when he walked into the school ten minutes earlier lay quiet and abandoned on the nearby baseball field.
The man found the silence comforting, after all, he was the cause of it. He looked up, closing his eyes, and let the warm sunlight wash over his face. It was then that he heard the voice of the bullhorn, muffled at first, then growing in volume. This was quickly accompanied by the voices of what must have been dozens of people. He looked at the cars that separated him from the rest of the parking lot and saw the flashing red and blue lights, and about twenty pistols pointing out from the open car doors. "Drop your weapon and put your hands in the air!!!"
He looked down at the MP5 submachine gun in his hands. The noise of the crowd of people from behind the police cars was building and he felt the pressure again inside his head. "Why can't you be quiet," he said softly, his annoyance growing. "I just want the silence."
He sat down on the grass of the school lawn near the sidewalk, the gun still in his hands. He looked down at the gun, examining the side of it with seeming curiosity. "PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON OR WE'LL SHOOT," came the booming voice again, the bullhorn making it sound like it was coming through a radio. "There's just too much noise," he whispered to himself. "I had to stop the noise."
He stood up slowly, the gun still in his hands, though pointed at the ground. "I just want some peace and quiet," he said, looking to the cars lined up in front of him. "I JUST WANT SOME QUIET!!," he said, raising the gun toward the bullhorn. Dozens of bullets tore through his flesh before he had time to raise his gun completely, each exploding out the back of his body followed by sprays of blood and pieces of organs, bone, and brain matter. His limp body fell to the ground, blood pooling instantly around it in the grass. The guns had stopped firing. No one spoke. There were no sounds. Just, silence.
The man found the silence comforting, after all, he was the cause of it. He looked up, closing his eyes, and let the warm sunlight wash over his face. It was then that he heard the voice of the bullhorn, muffled at first, then growing in volume. This was quickly accompanied by the voices of what must have been dozens of people. He looked at the cars that separated him from the rest of the parking lot and saw the flashing red and blue lights, and about twenty pistols pointing out from the open car doors. "Drop your weapon and put your hands in the air!!!"
He looked down at the MP5 submachine gun in his hands. The noise of the crowd of people from behind the police cars was building and he felt the pressure again inside his head. "Why can't you be quiet," he said softly, his annoyance growing. "I just want the silence."
He sat down on the grass of the school lawn near the sidewalk, the gun still in his hands. He looked down at the gun, examining the side of it with seeming curiosity. "PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON OR WE'LL SHOOT," came the booming voice again, the bullhorn making it sound like it was coming through a radio. "There's just too much noise," he whispered to himself. "I had to stop the noise."
He stood up slowly, the gun still in his hands, though pointed at the ground. "I just want some peace and quiet," he said, looking to the cars lined up in front of him. "I JUST WANT SOME QUIET!!," he said, raising the gun toward the bullhorn. Dozens of bullets tore through his flesh before he had time to raise his gun completely, each exploding out the back of his body followed by sprays of blood and pieces of organs, bone, and brain matter. His limp body fell to the ground, blood pooling instantly around it in the grass. The guns had stopped firing. No one spoke. There were no sounds. Just, silence.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
A Wish for Oz.
The text came from Michelle this morning when I was in the lab at school attempting to print off the dramaturg I'd stayed up all night writing. I'd left our warm flat no more than twenty minutes before to venture into the cold air of early February. Apparently our son decided to wait until I was gone to roll himself over for the first time. Figures.
He'd come very close to accomplishing this feat a few weeks before, but hadn't quite gotten his weight to shift. It was then that I realized that this is what fatherhood is. You may have seen the saying that, "Motherhood means touching poo." Well, fatherhood means missing out. I was lucky enough to be there for the first time he smiled at us, but I will most likely be at work when he crawls for the first time, or at school when he says his first word, or conducting research on quantum theory when he says his first word.
Anyway, along with a severe lack of sleep, this merely added to an interesting day.
He'd come very close to accomplishing this feat a few weeks before, but hadn't quite gotten his weight to shift. It was then that I realized that this is what fatherhood is. You may have seen the saying that, "Motherhood means touching poo." Well, fatherhood means missing out. I was lucky enough to be there for the first time he smiled at us, but I will most likely be at work when he crawls for the first time, or at school when he says his first word, or conducting research on quantum theory when he says his first word.
Anyway, along with a severe lack of sleep, this merely added to an interesting day.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Change and Heaps of Grape Soda
For the details of Michelle's labor and delivery experience, please refer to her blog. My experience was that of sleepiness and boredom, though I was quite happy to be able to get some reading done. It was nothing like they show in the movies. Whenever Michelle wasn't peacefully napping she was laughing and carrying on as if it was any other day.
At this point I'd like to give a shout out to God for blessing us with medicine and technology to make life and all it's experiences more pleasant and pain free. Epidurals are the best. She didn't feel any pain at all, just pressure, even during the pushing part.
I'm putting a couple of photos of the offspring on my photo blog. But here's how Oliver turned out.
At this point I'd like to give a shout out to God for blessing us with medicine and technology to make life and all it's experiences more pleasant and pain free. Epidurals are the best. She didn't feel any pain at all, just pressure, even during the pushing part.
I'm putting a couple of photos of the offspring on my photo blog. But here's how Oliver turned out.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
AutoCare is evil and is located @ 1240 South State Highway 89 91 Logan, Utah
I was hoping that I would somehow become a successful author who's stories would be read by millions, and that that would be the time to share the following true story and thereby slander the company in question. But, just in case this doesn't happen, or I die before I get the chance, I'm writing about it here so that at least two people will know.
The following is the statement I wrote as soon as I got back to my flat after the incident. Keep in mind that this was written right when I got back and so if it seems incoherent, choppy, or like a bunch of incomplete thoughts it's because I was so shaken up and angry. Plus I was freezing cold from being out in the snow with only a hooded sweatshirt. Oh yeah, and the language may be offensive but I'm not editing it.
"April 24, 2008
Statement
My brother got pulled over while riding my unregistered motorcycle. Turns out there was a “Bench Warrant” out for his arrest because he went to pay his ticket one day late and didn’t have enough money to cover the $100 late fee they imposed for the 20 hour difference. This warrant allowed the officer to search Trae, my brother. Upon this search he found some crumbs of marijuana in his pocket, at least that’s what Trae told me. So he was arrested. He asked the officer if he could just call me, the rightful owner of the bike, who lived not far from the spot, to pick up the bike. The officer said no and the bike was impounded.
After a hectic ordeal with a very rude woman at the motor vehicle department of the courthouse, we finally got it all sorted out. The bike was to be commercially towed. Trae wanted to see if we could just put it in his truck and drive it home.
We met at AutoCare, handed the release form for the bike to the lady at the desk, paid for it, and she handed me a receipt. I was about to ask about towing but she said, “It’s around back.” I said, “Just around this corner?” I wanted to make sure I had heard her correctly. “Yeah, just around the side,” she said, pointing to the north side of the building. I was relieved because, from the sound of it, they were going to let us load it ourselves, saving us about $65.
We drove around back to the corner of the lot where my bike sat, being pelted by hail-type snow. Mat Rowley came out saying that Cody or someone, wanted to talk to Trae. Trae said, “Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.” Mat went inside. Trae told me that he used to work here, until the week before when he found a better job and quit, without contacting anyone or coming in. So he thought Cody wanted to chew him out about that. We put down the tailgate and Cody comes running out, yelling and swearing. He said that we couldn’t take the bike, it had to be commercially towed. Trae yelled, “Oh, don’t do this just because you have a beef with me.” To which Cody yelled, “I have a fucking beef with you because you can’t use a fucking phone!” I tried to explain to the man that the lady at the front desk said, “Okay, it’s just around back,” implying that we could just transport it ourselves. Him and Trae yelled and swore at each other. The man yelled that it has to be commercially towed. I calmly asked him how much they would charge to tow it. He ignored me. Him and Trae continued yelling.
The man said we had to leave. I said, “We just paid to get my bike, can we just get it towed?” Trae said something and the man said to one of his employees, “Call the cops, we’ve got trespassers!” Trae and I were shocked. By this point Trae had calmed down, but the man hadn’t. Trae said they should just talk it out, but the man ran to the fence and locked the gate, locking us in. The fence had barbed wire. I said to him, not believing what I was seeing, “You’re gonna hold us prisoner? I just want to get my bike.”
By this point he had his cell phone out and was calling the police. I tried to explain to him the misunderstanding with the girl at the front desk, that I just wanted to get my bike, and that we can just get it towed, but he wasn’t really paying attention.
The police came. Trae told them the story, accurately, though he forgot to mention the fact that the lady at the front desk made it sound like we could just take the bike. So I filled the officer in on that. He gave us witness forms. We filled them out.
“What now,” Trae asked as he handed the officer the form. He told us that no charges were being filed right now. He said that the forms that we and the stack that an employee handed to the officer, (despite the fact that only 3 or so of their employees were present, it seems they filled out forms) would be read by the county prosecutor or city attorney, and that he would decide if he wants to press charges on either side.
Within less than 2 minutes we were accused of trespassing then held hostage. If we were trespassing, why would he lock the gate? The whole idea of trespassing is that the owner of the property doesn’t want people there, but instead of kicking us out they locked us in. This seems to me to represent the opposite idea of trespassing."
I distinctly remember, and apparently was too anxious to get this written and forgot to include, that, while the man and my brother were yelling back and forth I told him we just paid for the bike to be released. He said it needed to be commercially towed. I said, "Fine, how much do you charge to tow?" He ignored me and proceeded to lock the gate. In the end they made us leave and said we'd have to get the bike the next day. Since they charge something like $20 a day for holding the bike, they added this to the bill. I'd driven separately that day so my brother left and I got in my car. As I started pulling away the guy that locked us in waved me down. He informed me he had no problem with me but that my brother has a really bad temper (he came out of the building yelling and swearing at us). He said that if I wanted to have them tow it the next day he would wave the extra day's fee. Otherwise we could get another company to tow and he'd have to charge us this additional day.
I went back the next day to meet a guy from another towing company to tow the bike. I'd had enough with AutoCare and I didn't want to pay them towing fees. I wanted to sue AutoCare for what their employee had done to us, but I didn't have the money. I thought I should share my story so you know what kind of people you're dealing with when you go to this company.
The following is the statement I wrote as soon as I got back to my flat after the incident. Keep in mind that this was written right when I got back and so if it seems incoherent, choppy, or like a bunch of incomplete thoughts it's because I was so shaken up and angry. Plus I was freezing cold from being out in the snow with only a hooded sweatshirt. Oh yeah, and the language may be offensive but I'm not editing it.
"April 24, 2008
Statement
My brother got pulled over while riding my unregistered motorcycle. Turns out there was a “Bench Warrant” out for his arrest because he went to pay his ticket one day late and didn’t have enough money to cover the $100 late fee they imposed for the 20 hour difference. This warrant allowed the officer to search Trae, my brother. Upon this search he found some crumbs of marijuana in his pocket, at least that’s what Trae told me. So he was arrested. He asked the officer if he could just call me, the rightful owner of the bike, who lived not far from the spot, to pick up the bike. The officer said no and the bike was impounded.
After a hectic ordeal with a very rude woman at the motor vehicle department of the courthouse, we finally got it all sorted out. The bike was to be commercially towed. Trae wanted to see if we could just put it in his truck and drive it home.
We met at AutoCare, handed the release form for the bike to the lady at the desk, paid for it, and she handed me a receipt. I was about to ask about towing but she said, “It’s around back.” I said, “Just around this corner?” I wanted to make sure I had heard her correctly. “Yeah, just around the side,” she said, pointing to the north side of the building. I was relieved because, from the sound of it, they were going to let us load it ourselves, saving us about $65.
We drove around back to the corner of the lot where my bike sat, being pelted by hail-type snow. Mat Rowley came out saying that Cody or someone, wanted to talk to Trae. Trae said, “Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.” Mat went inside. Trae told me that he used to work here, until the week before when he found a better job and quit, without contacting anyone or coming in. So he thought Cody wanted to chew him out about that. We put down the tailgate and Cody comes running out, yelling and swearing. He said that we couldn’t take the bike, it had to be commercially towed. Trae yelled, “Oh, don’t do this just because you have a beef with me.” To which Cody yelled, “I have a fucking beef with you because you can’t use a fucking phone!” I tried to explain to the man that the lady at the front desk said, “Okay, it’s just around back,” implying that we could just transport it ourselves. Him and Trae yelled and swore at each other. The man yelled that it has to be commercially towed. I calmly asked him how much they would charge to tow it. He ignored me. Him and Trae continued yelling.
The man said we had to leave. I said, “We just paid to get my bike, can we just get it towed?” Trae said something and the man said to one of his employees, “Call the cops, we’ve got trespassers!” Trae and I were shocked. By this point Trae had calmed down, but the man hadn’t. Trae said they should just talk it out, but the man ran to the fence and locked the gate, locking us in. The fence had barbed wire. I said to him, not believing what I was seeing, “You’re gonna hold us prisoner? I just want to get my bike.”
By this point he had his cell phone out and was calling the police. I tried to explain to him the misunderstanding with the girl at the front desk, that I just wanted to get my bike, and that we can just get it towed, but he wasn’t really paying attention.
The police came. Trae told them the story, accurately, though he forgot to mention the fact that the lady at the front desk made it sound like we could just take the bike. So I filled the officer in on that. He gave us witness forms. We filled them out.
“What now,” Trae asked as he handed the officer the form. He told us that no charges were being filed right now. He said that the forms that we and the stack that an employee handed to the officer, (despite the fact that only 3 or so of their employees were present, it seems they filled out forms) would be read by the county prosecutor or city attorney, and that he would decide if he wants to press charges on either side.
Within less than 2 minutes we were accused of trespassing then held hostage. If we were trespassing, why would he lock the gate? The whole idea of trespassing is that the owner of the property doesn’t want people there, but instead of kicking us out they locked us in. This seems to me to represent the opposite idea of trespassing."
I distinctly remember, and apparently was too anxious to get this written and forgot to include, that, while the man and my brother were yelling back and forth I told him we just paid for the bike to be released. He said it needed to be commercially towed. I said, "Fine, how much do you charge to tow?" He ignored me and proceeded to lock the gate. In the end they made us leave and said we'd have to get the bike the next day. Since they charge something like $20 a day for holding the bike, they added this to the bill. I'd driven separately that day so my brother left and I got in my car. As I started pulling away the guy that locked us in waved me down. He informed me he had no problem with me but that my brother has a really bad temper (he came out of the building yelling and swearing at us). He said that if I wanted to have them tow it the next day he would wave the extra day's fee. Otherwise we could get another company to tow and he'd have to charge us this additional day.
I went back the next day to meet a guy from another towing company to tow the bike. I'd had enough with AutoCare and I didn't want to pay them towing fees. I wanted to sue AutoCare for what their employee had done to us, but I didn't have the money. I thought I should share my story so you know what kind of people you're dealing with when you go to this company.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I feel sick, so I'll write about how I'm excited.
In the late afternoon of yesterday I felt it was time I make my switch from summer music to that of the fall persuasion. As I selected my "Fally Fall Fall" playlist dozens of memories flooded my head with feelings from years past. Autumn, and October in particular, is one of my favorite times in the yearly calendar. I love the dark, eerie, comfortable feeling that belongs to this season of dying and decay. Plus it's one of the best months for Movie Night!
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