Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Blender out-golfed the Puma.

Last night I found out that some people, even those closest to me, may not be aware of something that has always been a large part of my life and who I am as a person. This saddened me and I feel the need to bring this funfact to the attention of all three people who read the crap I write. Alright, so here it is: I love Koolaid.
Since I was a young chap sucking on the stretched out neck of my t-shirt I've loved the stuff. For years Grape was the ruling champion in the fight for the coveted position of favorite flavor. That was until one faithful summer morning 6 years ago when I stumbled upon Mango. Actually I don't remember exactly when I met Mango, but we've been thoroughly fond of one another since. For years and years Koolaid has been my primary source of nutrition, a fact that seems to have taken those closest to me unawares.
I suppose it's not their fault. I go through stages of foods. Such phases include but aren't limited to: Mint Hershey Kisses (which were ingested in disgusting quantities), Koolaid, KitKats, ButterFingers, Baby Ruths, doughnuts, granola bars, bananas, toast, popsicles, Rice Krispy Treats (a personal favorite), and the current obsession: peanut butter (by the spoonful).
All of these have a very special place in my heart and stomach.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

There aren't enough mint brownies to keep from eating my hand.

Here's the thing about the subconscious: I don't buy it. I obviously don't know that much about it but it seems a little too fantastical for me to swallow. If I do in fact have a subconscious making decisions without my consent, having thoughts without my being aware, and doing things in secret from my world of conscious thought, then I'm a little creeped out. It's like there's another person inside of me, someone who's keeping things from me. That's just plain weird. This idea sounds more like Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder).
Maybe I've got it all wrong. In fact this is highly likely. Obviously there are things that the body does without conscious thought like the beating of the heart, the maintaining of certain bodily functions that, were it up to actual conscious thought to initiate, we wouldn't last very long. But is that proof enough for the existence of a part of my mind that is doing things and influencing and motivating my decisions without my being aware of it? Just let the insanity sink in. I think I'm just tired so I'm talking crazy.

"Nothing else will fit right,
Or seem so directly applied,
Than fitted shirt hung on me,
Fitted shirt alright..."

This is one of my favorite Spoon songs. And it's also an eternal truth. Throughout my entire life I've had dress shirts that were too big; the sleeves big enough to fit two or three of my arms through at once, the shirt ballooning and bunching up around my waist and torso...hideous and uncomfortable. I'd find and purchase random fitted shirts now and then, but it was always difficult to find a white one, which would be of most use.
Yesterday I purchased a white fitted dress shirt. It fits perfectly. It's hard to fully explain the elation that comes from wearing clothes that actually fit. Hoorah and kudos for clothes that aren't mass produced to hang off of various body types, but are made with care and purpose for individuals who enjoy clothes that fit right.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

The Death of Conscience

When I was young I loved animals. Then my parent's got a shitzu and my feelings changed. Maybe it's because I just woke up but this video made me so angry, so I thought I would share it. You should know that this footage isn't appropriate for kids. I don't know how to put this video on my page, so you might have to copy and paste.