Saturday, April 2, 2011

Decisions and Delusions.

It is 1:46 in the a.m. and I can't sleep. I am moderately ill and I can't breathe very easily. I'm waiting for the sudafed and the niquil to kick in and I have no idea how to spell the names of those two medicines.
As of late I have been weighing the pros and cons of two career options I may or may not have in the future; finding it nearly impossible to figure out which is the better choice. And the contenders are: Option A. teaching high school history. This is something I have wanted to do for some years now and is what I am pursuing as a bachelor's degree. This job would allow me to do something I like and am passionate about, while possibly allowing me the summers off to write (which may or may not be a complete waste of time). Unfortunately, teaching will pay very very little and will not allow our family to live a very comfortable lifestyle and will most likely lead to a lot of stressing over finances.
Option 2. (those who know me will realize that the discrepancy between "A." and "2." is intention and how I roll). Taking over my dad's business. This career option would allow us to give our kids many more opportunities in life and allow for a much more comfortable lifestyle, though it is something that I have never really been interested in and I usually find quite boring. Choosing this option would make me feel like I am selling out. I wouldn't stress about money with this option, but I would probably stress over having to do something everyday that I am not fond of, dislike, am bored with, and/or hate.
Option A would make my family experience mostly negative aspects of the path while I would be the only one who would enjoy the benefits of such a career. Option 2 would leave me suffering the negative aspects, but allow my family to enjoy the positive things associated with the career.
I fear I have little choice, but to opt for my family's well-being and prosperous future. Anything else, though morally superior, professionally stimulating and thoroughly satisfying, would make me an extremely selfish person.
I must choose to sell out. I doubt either will be an option in the end.

No comments: